I recently heard of two resident physicians who committed suicide. I was profoundly disturbed. It really hit me that once you take your life, it’s GONE. There’s no going back, for you or those you leave behind. The scars for everyone are incredibly hard to heal. I know this personally from having experienced the suicide of someone close, and I worked for a physician who killed himself.
Have you ever thought of committing suicide? Do you get so overwhelmed it seems there’s no other way out? People think of suicide more than they admit. Verbalizing it is the start of the solution. Put it out in the open. Tell someone you’re thinking of hurting or killing yourself – even if it’s just a fleeting thought. Fleeting thoughts kept secret grow and have a greater chance of becoming reality. And doctors have higher suicide success rates because of their medical knowledge.
Physicians often won’t seek outside help. They think they don’t need it and can handle their own problems. Sadly, these two residents couldn’t. That physicians can always heal themselves is an irony and a fallacy. Though as a doctor you may not believe it, ASKING FOR HELP IS COURAGEOUS. And pain shared is cut in half. Think of your willingness to help vulnerable patients. Then try to see yourself as a vulnerable patient who visits a doctor who is just as willing to help you.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is always a way out. I heard of someone who jumped off a bridge in an attempted suicide. He lived - and was grateful for it. He realized as he was going down he didn’t want to die – he just wanted to be out of his pain.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, depressed, suicidal, if you’re using substances or engaging in other addictive behaviors, start talking and get help. Tell a trusted friend, family member, a colleague. See your personal physician. Get referrals to a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist. Your facility may have such providers. Visit your facility’s Employee Assistance Program. Go to the Emergency Room if necessary. Or call your state’s Physician Health Program, found through your State Medical Society, or through The Federation of State Physician Health Programs. Your life and that of your family and friends may depend on it.
