Happy, Healthy Docs

Anger Mangement Video - A Holiday Gift

I'd like to wish you peaceful and joyous holidays, and most of all a relaxing break from work.  Make time for self-care, connecting with others, and for quiet introspection as you enter the new year.

My gift to you is a new video, "Anger Management Guided Introspection."  With the stress of the holidays, the economy, and patients - tempers can flare - often at the most inopportune time. And perhaps your anger gets the best of you more often than you'd like.  Or you know someone else like that.  This short video on Youtube, using a sample new coaching technique (see next paragraph), offers a simple way to better handle anger.  Find 10 quiet, private minutes and try this guided meditative process that helps you get to what's underneath your anger so you can better manage it and not let it control you. 

And by the way, thanks for your support this year by attending or scheduling my seminars, and/or reading my blog.  I have great new things in store for 2010 (including 2 newly healing ankles, thank God) - a website and new company name (referred to in the video), new seminars, and a new service, Visionary Leadership Coaching.  I look forward to seeing you and working together again soon, or meeting you for the first time, in 2010.  Have a happy and healthy new year!

Congress Gets Serious About Stress and Mindfulness

Listen to this inspiring YOUTUBE video I found regarding mindfulness. In a Congressional hearing, Rep. Tim Ryan (D-OH) asks Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius about stress reduction via mindfulness, and how it can help our nation.  What's this about?

Stress management requires being mindful, or self aware in a given moment.  For example, if I'm feeling strong anger, rather than reacting and yelling, I might ask, "What am I feeling right now?  What's going on in my body?"  I might answer, "I'm really feeling hurt under the anger, and my heart is pounding."  So to slow the pounding and feel the hurt rather than yell, I breathe deeply for 10 minutes.  Being mindful helped me create a workable stress management strategy.  Now I'm calmer, I feel better physically, and I prevented an argument.   

Mindfulness meditation is an excellent tool to learn self-awareness - and to manage stress.  It helps with anger management, reducing violence, ameliorating pain, curbing compulsive/addictive behaviors, and more - areas now getting national attention.  So next time I'm upset and want to soothe myself with a donut, I might instead become aware that I'm really feeling disappointed and take a walk instead.

To do it:  Sit quietly.  Close your eyes.  Take deep breaths.  Become aware of your breath, your emotions, your body, by asking, "How am I experiencing myself?" For example, ask, "What emotion am I feeling right now?"  Or, "Where is there tension in my body?"  Then sit with that awareness.  Ask again:  "What emotion am I feeling now?"  A new one may rise up into your awareness.  Do this for 5-10 minutes. 

With practice you'll really get to know yourself well.  Becoming aware of your emotions is important, especially if this is difficult for you.  Why is it important?  Until you know how you truly feel about something, you won't change it.  Emotion is a much better motivator than denial. 

Disruptive Behavior - Owning Your Anger

 

"Disruptive Behavior" is the 2009 buzz word by The Joint Commission with their new Leadership Standard LD.03.01.01 mandating hospitals to address this issue head on.  A major hallmark of a disruptive individual is an angry outburst, often at the most inopportune times - in front of colleagues, patients, and their family members.  The "classic" profile of disruptive physicians are male surgeons who yell in the operating room, but they are by no means the only doctors who may engage in this behavior.  In fact nurses and other health professionals also project their anger outwardly.  Often such individuals have difficulty taking responsibility for their behavior.  Instead they blame their anger on others, such as laboratory personnel who produce late test results.  While it's true that poorly functioning departments or hospital systems can be very frustrating, screaming at those who work in them is not the answer. 

If you are quick to respond with anger in frustrating situations, especially if it happens more than you - or others - would like, the problem may also lie within you.  When I first saw the above cartoon, I  thought Lucy's response to "Why are you always yelling at me?" might be, "Because you're an idiot!"  To my surprise, she took responsibility for her yelling.  That is the start of the healing process for those who can't control their anger.  Chronically angry people may blame others for everything and see themselves as right.  They can't see how their outbursts exacerbate their problems.  They don't do this on purpose.  They really believe they're not at fault. 

This topic can take up many blog posts.  As a first step, ask yourself:  "How well do I handle my anger?  Does it handle me?  Do I feel powerless to control it?  Does it get in my way at work?  Is it affecting my relationships?"  If you answer yes, consider that you could possibly use some help.  The first step is owning the fact that this area of your life isn't working and is causing you pain.  Give it some thought, and stay tuned for more on this.  

Stress Management: Relax and Trust You'll Get What You Need

I'd like to share a stressful personal experience that ended up better than I could have imagined - a common life occurrence.  A not often discussed Stress Management tool when difficulties arise, is to fully feel your emotions, then let go of control and trust things to work out.  Be open to all possibilities, and know you'll get what you need.  As a friend said about my "cashew butter" story, we're not forgotten in any moment. 

 

So - I went to Trader Joe's to find out they no longer sell Cashew Butter (it was the cheapest place to buy it).  This is one of my favorite foods.  I was INFURIATED, and completely blown away.  I couldn't get over this, for hours!  What a loss!  (This was big, as I have food allergies and a limited diet to begin with.)  

 

In the aisle at that moment, I heard a voice ask, "Do you have a food processor?"  I turned around to see a man who looks like my superintendent's double.  I said, "Yes, why?"  He said, "I make my own cashew butter.  Just put in a little oil and it comes out fine."  I said, "Do you use roasted or raw nuts?"  He said, "Roasted."  So I went up the aisle and bought 2 1-lb. bags of roasted cashew pieces.

 

I got home and whipped out my food processor.  I threw in a bag of the cashews, processed, and Voila!!  Cashew butter!!  That tastes good!  And I didn't even have to add the oil.  I was amazed!  And the one bag, at $3.99, filled an old 1-lb. cashew butter jar that would have cost me $4.49 (at Trader Joe's vs. at least $7 in any other store).  So now I was no longer infuriated.  I felt grateful, happy, proud of my new talent, and thrilled that man (who is not actually my super's brother) was standing there at that exact moment in Trader Joe's.  

 

This was no coincidence.  The universe conspired to create these exact circumstances - no one could have planned it better.  So I went from fury, to shock, to curiosity, to determination and to gratitude and relaxation in a few hours, and went to sleep knowing I had been well taken care of.  And if you look in your own life, you'll find similar circumstances.  There really is a silver lining in every cloud.  You just have to trust it will reveal itself.  So if you have such stories, or good recipes for nut butters, please share them in a comment below! 

Learn to Reverse Negative Behaviors in a NO-COST STRESS MANAGEMENT Phone Seminar 2/17/09

 Are you stressed out because you have not very useful behaviors you'd like to change but can't?  Do you get easily angered and yell?  Are you disorganized?  Do you procrastinate, overeat, smoke, etc.?  Everyone has something.  So why don't we change?  One reason is we believe we can't.  You might find yourself thinking, "It's too hard, too much work, takes too much time, I'm not capable of changing that, I don't know how, I've tried and it didn't work, etc."  Most of us unconsciously think these thoughts all the time.  What we don't realize is that they drive our behaviors and keep us stuck in the negative ones.

A trick to changing behaviors is to bring to conscious awareness the UNDERLYING BELIEFS we have about not being able to change them, and to replace them with beliefs that work.  To help you see this in action, I'm offering a FREE TELEPHONE SEMINAR tonight from 8-8:45 pm EST.  I'll do a GUIDED RELAXATION EXERCISE to help you work on your particular problem.  You call in from the comfort of your home or office.  CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.  This session will also provide a sample of what we'll do in the Meditation and Relaxation Training Phone Seminars (DESCRIPTION) on 2/19, 2/26 and 3/5/09 from 7-8am or 8-9 pm.  Read more about that in the post below, which also tells you how to enroll in the 3 session series. 

Stress Management for Valentine's Day - A Gift of Relaxation

In these scary economic times, it's easy to blow up at those we love.  Fear and feeling out of control can be all-consuming, and can wreak havoc in our relationships.

While you can't control the economy, you can control your reactions to it - with meditation and deep breathing exercises.  These improve communication.  You start conversations from a calmer place, more aware of your feelings.  I was touched by a quote in the "Mutts" comic in today's Newsday by Heather Cortez:  "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."  Stress - about money, work or anything else - can erode any relationship, personal or professional.

  To help, consider giving the gift of relaxation - to yourself, for Valentine's Day, a birthday.  I'm offering a 3-week Meditation and Relaxation Training Telephone Seminar Series (description) on 2/19, 2/26 and 3/5/09 at 2 times:  7-8 am or 8-9 pm.  You attend from the comfort of your home or office, and the ongoing weekly support will motivate you to practice.  To enroll, click on "Register" and "pay" in this sentence, or by clicking on the 2 links under "Meditation Classes" under my photo (left).   

Meditation and deep relaxation soothe the soul, and provide a sense that all will be OK, at least for now.  Done regularly, that reassurance - especially nowadays - can feel like a million bucks.  Ask me, I know.  

Meditation Phone Conference Seminars

In an attempt to join the technologically savvy, I've designed a new seminar series on my favorite topic, "Meditation and Relaxation Techniques" that will be offered as a phone conference series.  You call in, and I'll teach you simple meditation and the deep-breathing based techniques of abdominal breathing and visualization by phone.  It takes ongoing practice to learn these.  As a start, I'll offer 2 series of 3 1-hour classes, one from 7-8 am, and one from 8-9 pm, on Thursdays, February 19, 26, and March 5, 2009.  Read the details here: Download Meditation Classes Flyer.

My experience teaching these techniques is that some prefer to learn them in the privacy of their own homes, offices or other location, without having others next to them peering at them with their eyes open.  If that describes you, these are ideal.  They're also ideal if you want to do this at convenient times, want ongoing instruction, and to be able to fall asleep after doing this (not during it, of course).   

Please join me in this new venture which could open many possibilities for you.  Enrollment takes 2 steps:  payment and registration.  You can do that on this blog.  Simply look UNDER MY PHOTO for "MEDITATION SEMINARS."  Under that, please click on "PAYPAL BUTTON" and "REGISTRATION FORM."  After you pay and register, you'll get confirmation and dial-in instruction emails from me.  I look forward to helping you really learn how to relax!

New Tough NY Physician Discipline Laws

  On 11/3/08, new legislation became effective in New York making the disciplinary system more strict for physicians reported to the Office of Professional Medical Conduct (OPMC) for misconduct, and makes such information more accessible to consumers. 

These law changes make it even more imperative for clinicians with addictive and psychological problems to seek immediate treatment to regain their health and avoid discipline.  A report to OPMC can result in quick publicizing of charges, and possible losses of license, job, career, income, self-esteem, and thousands in legal fees.  Colleagues in leadership positions should ensure such individuals get help ASAP.  Such individuals can also self-refer or be referred to the Committee for Physician Health at 1-800-338-1833 or 518-436-4723. 

A synopsis of the law changes include:

1.  OPMC now makes charges against a physician public much sooner: after they are served vs. after an order is issued, and before appeals.  

2.  OPMC can more easily obtain a physician's personal medical records if they believe s/he may be impaired by addictive and psychiatric disorders.    

3.  Physicians must update their profiles every 6 months, a condition for license re-registration.  

Other law changes involve mandating clinical competency exams, reviewing malpractice histories to see if doctors should be investigated, and more.  Courts must also notify OPMC of physician misdemeanor and felony convictions, such as DWI's.

Go to www.abramslaw.com for an article fully describing the new law, "The Office of Professional Medical Conduct:  How Changes In Public Health Law Section 230 May Affect You" by Lawrence F. Kobak, DPM, JD and Michael S. Kelton, Esq.  

   

Perfectionism and Medical Errors: What's the Connection?

  After my last post on “Perfectionism:  An Unacknowledged Source of Stress” (below), I was asked to conduct Grand Rounds on this topic.  (Having only been a blog post, the stress of creating a perfect seminar on perfectionism was great.)  At its end, a participant told me it was a great talk, as it was a topic never discussed anywhere in medicine – an arena in which everyone is expected to be perfect.  This expectation attracts perfectionists into medicine, which in turn creates perfectionistic medical leaders who train new doctors to be perfect.  
    The low self-esteem (and fear of making errors) that underlies perfectionism can ironically be transformed into arrogance – the flip side of the same coin – when compounded by the rigors of medical training and sometimes accompanying demanding, highly critical clinical trainers.  Initially fearful residents who drive themselves very hard into becoming highly skilled practitioners, may eventually find themselves saying, “Me?  Make a mistake?  I DON’T MAKE MISTAKES!  I’M PERFECT!”  This creates a closing off to constructive criticism and feedback from others.
    My seminar discussion went onto that track.  An attending shared he had mistakenly mixed up medication orders for two patients.  A resident realized it, and kindly said:  “Dr. Smith (name changed), in looking at these two patient records I think there may be a mistake in your medication orders you might want to look at.”  Dr. Smith was very grateful to this resident.  She averted a possible disaster.  He was humbled by this and saw that despite his high skill level he was still capable of making medical errors.  He was aware of his humanism and imperfection.  
    He further shared stories of famous doctors, experts in their fields, who write the teaching manuals, create the training videos – and who still make mistakes and get sued for malpractice.  He said, “Wouldn’t it be great, if when a nurse says to such a doctor, ‘Doctor, please take a second look at the paperwork, as I believe you may be about to remove the wrong organ,’ that physician could respond with, ‘Thank God you noticed!’ vs. ‘Don’t question my authority!’?”   
    Dr. Smith's point was that BECAUSE no one is perfect, it’s vital for medical team members to stay humble and open to receiving constructive feedback from each other no matter what their status – AND to feel safe in giving it.  My point is the cure for perfectionism is to work on raising your self-esteem.   These two things work together.  True self-respect – vs. arrogance – creates a comfort level with one’s own imperfections and an openness to admit mistakes.  It also creates respect for others – a vital need for a functioning medical team that ultimately results in fewer errors and optimizes patient care.

Perfectionism: An Unacknowledged Source of Stress

   As a very smart child, I typically got 100%'s on school tests.  With the occasional 98% came my mother's (may she rest in peace) inevitable question:  "What happened to the other 2 points?"  Excellence, I was taught, would not do - it had to be perfect.  As an adult, a woman I know once suggested I strive for 75% accomplishment in my life's tasks.  I looked at her as if she had five heads.  75%?  At least 90% was necessary.  A third wise woman later told me perfectionism is an illusion - it does not exist.  I wanted to throttle her.  After a lifetime of striving for perfection, and all the stress, time and energy this entailed, I was angry at and disappointed by the thought that it was an impossibility to achieve.

If you had a similar upbringing, perhaps you know of this drive to be perfect.  What you may not realize is that what may underlie it is low self-esteem.  Perfectionism is an unconscious attempt to overcompensate for feeling bad about yourself.  It's a way to get external validation from the world.  If you look good, sound eloquent, achieve, save others, etc., you MUST be valuable.  If not you're not, and you've somehow failed.  We create high standards for ourselves and thereby in others.  This causes stress within us and in those close to us.  It strains our relationships.  No one can live up to such standards.  And when we focus on what's wrong vs. on what's right in us, it only makes us feel worse about ourselves.

The other day I had an epiphany.  Looking around my apartment, I wondered what life would be like if I no longer existed.  My home and the things in it suddenly seemed empty.  My existence had made them what they were.  In that moment I had a deep knowing that I mattered.  I was completely unique and left my own imprint on the universe.  I had value - intrinsic value, not based on grades or what I achieved.  My stress level suddenly decreased.  The pressure was off.  I was perfectly acceptable AS I WAS.  I was ecstatic!  What a relief!!