Happy, Healthy Docs

Learn to Reverse Negative Behaviors in a NO-COST STRESS MANAGEMENT Phone Seminar 2/17/09

 Are you stressed out because you have not very useful behaviors you'd like to change but can't?  Do you get easily angered and yell?  Are you disorganized?  Do you procrastinate, overeat, smoke, etc.?  Everyone has something.  So why don't we change?  One reason is we believe we can't.  You might find yourself thinking, "It's too hard, too much work, takes too much time, I'm not capable of changing that, I don't know how, I've tried and it didn't work, etc."  Most of us unconsciously think these thoughts all the time.  What we don't realize is that they drive our behaviors and keep us stuck in the negative ones.

A trick to changing behaviors is to bring to conscious awareness the UNDERLYING BELIEFS we have about not being able to change them, and to replace them with beliefs that work.  To help you see this in action, I'm offering a FREE TELEPHONE SEMINAR tonight from 8-8:45 pm EST.  I'll do a GUIDED RELAXATION EXERCISE to help you work on your particular problem.  You call in from the comfort of your home or office.  CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.  This session will also provide a sample of what we'll do in the Meditation and Relaxation Training Phone Seminars (DESCRIPTION) on 2/19, 2/26 and 3/5/09 from 7-8am or 8-9 pm.  Read more about that in the post below, which also tells you how to enroll in the 3 session series. 

Stress Management for Valentine's Day - A Gift of Relaxation

In these scary economic times, it's easy to blow up at those we love.  Fear and feeling out of control can be all-consuming, and can wreak havoc in our relationships.

While you can't control the economy, you can control your reactions to it - with meditation and deep breathing exercises.  These improve communication.  You start conversations from a calmer place, more aware of your feelings.  I was touched by a quote in the "Mutts" comic in today's Newsday by Heather Cortez:  "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."  Stress - about money, work or anything else - can erode any relationship, personal or professional.

  To help, consider giving the gift of relaxation - to yourself, for Valentine's Day, a birthday.  I'm offering a 3-week Meditation and Relaxation Training Telephone Seminar Series (description) on 2/19, 2/26 and 3/5/09 at 2 times:  7-8 am or 8-9 pm.  You attend from the comfort of your home or office, and the ongoing weekly support will motivate you to practice.  To enroll, click on "Register" and "pay" in this sentence, or by clicking on the 2 links under "Meditation Classes" under my photo (left).   

Meditation and deep relaxation soothe the soul, and provide a sense that all will be OK, at least for now.  Done regularly, that reassurance - especially nowadays - can feel like a million bucks.  Ask me, I know.  

Meditation Phone Conference Seminars

In an attempt to join the technologically savvy, I've designed a new seminar series on my favorite topic, "Meditation and Relaxation Techniques" that will be offered as a phone conference series.  You call in, and I'll teach you simple meditation and the deep-breathing based techniques of abdominal breathing and visualization by phone.  It takes ongoing practice to learn these.  As a start, I'll offer 2 series of 3 1-hour classes, one from 7-8 am, and one from 8-9 pm, on Thursdays, February 19, 26, and March 5, 2009.  Read the details here: Download Meditation Classes Flyer.

My experience teaching these techniques is that some prefer to learn them in the privacy of their own homes, offices or other location, without having others next to them peering at them with their eyes open.  If that describes you, these are ideal.  They're also ideal if you want to do this at convenient times, want ongoing instruction, and to be able to fall asleep after doing this (not during it, of course).   

Please join me in this new venture which could open many possibilities for you.  Enrollment takes 2 steps:  payment and registration.  You can do that on this blog.  Simply look UNDER MY PHOTO for "MEDITATION SEMINARS."  Under that, please click on "PAYPAL BUTTON" and "REGISTRATION FORM."  After you pay and register, you'll get confirmation and dial-in instruction emails from me.  I look forward to helping you really learn how to relax!

Meditation: Quieting a Chaotic Mind

The mind can be chaotic.  Most people can't shut it off.  Some, including me, are "mind" types:  bright people who think - a lot.  My mind goes incessantly.  Some mind types obsess and ruminate constantly about the same thoughts.  I find this maddening.  The only thing that helps me is meditation.  Sitting quietly.  Focusing on my breath going in and out, allowing my thoughts to fall away.  Some think meditation should clear the mind of thoughts.  Not true.  It's a way to be present without getting lost in, or controlled by, your thoughts.

Obsessive thinking and worry can be a way to calm anxieties, to avoid difficult feelings.  Overly thinking a problem to solve it creates a sense of having control over it.  While problem resolution requires thinking, when it becomes obsessive it becomes a problem in itself.  This is especially true for controlling people.  They have difficulty feeling powerless.  Overly thinking something  submerges the powerlessness and gives a false sense of safety.  But worry never solves problems.  It only creates more anxiety.  Hence, the need for meditation.  It breaks this cycle and gives the mind a break.  And it creates real safety, because the stillness that occurs within reminds you that everything is going to be OK.

For some, though, stillness is scary.  Why?  Inner quiet allows emotions to surface.  With difficult emotions comes the urge to squash them by getting busy.  Of course drugs and alcohol create the same effect.  For some people, "busyness" is their addiction.  In fact they say, "Meditation isn't for me.  I can't sit still."  In truth, they're avoiding the anger, sadness, fear, disappointment, etc., that surfaces when they sit still.  This isn't conscious.  But it's useful to become aware of.  So meditating means learning to be OK with your emotions no matter what they are.  It's in this acceptance that calmness truly occurs.

I've had a tough week with lots of major decisions to make.  So I've been meditating a lot.  Before breakfast on my terrace, and in moments when decisions need to be made.  It calms me, and allows me to feel my feelings.  This then tells me what to decide.  Magic.  If any of this describes you, try meditating.  Just sit quietly, breathe in to the word "one," and out to the word "two."  Over and over.  If a thought pops up, acknowledge it in your mind, and then bring your focus back to the counting.  It's very simple.  And it's a great step toward cultivating stillness within your chaos. 

Components of Meditation and Relaxation Techniques – #1) A Quiet Environment

If you’ve been following my blog, you’ve tried the posted Abdominal Breathing podcast:

Download AbdominalBreathingPodcast.mp3

To help you do it better, I’ll describe 4 components necessary for successful practice of meditation and deep breathing based relaxation techniques, beginning in this article with #1. If you can’t have all four, do your best and practice anyway. They are:

1) A quiet environment
2) A comfortable position
3) An object on which to focus
4) A passive attitude

A Quiet Environment
Ideally:
It’s best to practice in a quiet environment without distractions. Disconnect or turn off pagers and phones. Let calls go into voice mail. Dim the lights. Put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign or let people know you’re taking a 10-20 minute break. This requires cultivating the attitude that “I’m entitled to quiet, down time for myself.” Do you actually believe this? If so, it’s easier to set aside the time. If not, suffer through the guilt. It will eventually disappear.
Not Ideally:
If you meditate at work and can’t turn off your gadgets, find an alone spot and do it anyway. Chances are the phone won’t ring. If it does try again later.

Where do I meditate?
Ideally:
Have a place at home and at work. At home create a comfortable space – a quiet room, a chair, a pillow on the floor. Use the same space consistently. Keep it clean and comfortable – conducive to relaxing. At work, find a room where you can be alone – your office, an on-call room. Many hospitals have a chapel or meditation room – GREAT places to disappear to.
Not ideally:
At home, use whatever space is available – including the basement or bathroom. Whatever works. At work do the same. Use a bathroom if it’s your only option. Pick a well-hidden single stall one, or a multiple stall one where people can come and go and not bother you.

Other Options:
Sit in your parked car if you feel safe. I’ve meditated in many well-lit parking lots. During lunch spend 15 minutes there, and go back in to eat. Trains and buses also work, but aren’t as quiet. With practice you’ll tune out the noise. But you might set an alarm in case you fall asleep so you won’t miss your stop!

Please comment – share suggestions, where you’ve meditated and how you made it work. Thanks!

Relaxation Techniques and Meditation - Why Bother? WITH PODCAST

 Link here and at end to RELAXATION TECHNIQUE PODCAST:

Download AbdominalBreathingPodcast.mp3

Relax, or Relaaax??
Have you ever done meditation or similar relaxation techniques (RT’s)? My audiences respond to this question with: “Yes, I exercise, watch TV and relax, read a book, etc.” These activities may be relaxing, but are not RT’s. RT’s include things like abdominal breathing, meditation, and visualization. They are deep breathing-based, and provide an object of focus. They’re an integral part of STRESS MANAGEMENT programs. Like physical exercise, they require practice, discipline, scheduling, and once you overcome your initial resistance you look forward to them, and eventually can’t imagine how you’ve lived without them.

Deep Relaxation vs. Sleep
RT’s put you into a unique physiological state. Purposeful slow, deep breathing while focusing on a word, phrase or image – while awake and alert – creates deep relaxation in the body. Alpha brain waves cause this sensation. This is unlike sleep where the brain is in theta and then delta brain waves, and during RT’s there’s a much greater decrease of oxygen consumption than in sleep. With RT’s the body slow down, and healing can occur. Why is this important?

It has to do with the "fight or flight" response. Human beings are designed to gear up physiologically to respond to danger, and relax once the threat is over. A caveman, in his day, who sees an approaching tiger either runs or tries to kill it. To react, his breathing, blood pressure, and heart rates rise, cortisol and glucose are released, his muscles contract and his vision becomes acute. With escape or a dead tiger his body slows – metabolism, blood pressure, heart and respiratory rates decrease. He calms down, recovers and bodily functions return to normal. Today’s “threats” are chronic – traffic jams, difficult colleagues, troubled marriages, endless work hours. The body, not knowing the difference, still prepares for the tiger, but doesn’t rebound into relaxation. The result is hypertension, heart disease, backaches, resentments, chronic frustration, etc.

Relaxation techniques to the rescue!
By taking a break during a stressful day or event and doing a RT or meditation, your body gets its chance to revert to normal. This does not occur anywhere nearly to this degree by simply watching TV or reading. It requires a concerted effort and special techniques to achieve this deep level of relaxation. Think of it this way: regarding physical exercise, cavemen did a lot of it just to survive a day, and didn’t need to go to the gym. Today our sedentary lifestyles create a need to set aside time to work out and actually exercise. The same is true with RT’s. Because we no longer have much down time, and we’re multi-tasking, stressed and physically ill, we now need to set aside time to physiologically, deeply relax. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

PODCAST
Once again, here is a PODCAST with an 11-minute relaxation technique called ABDOMINAL BREATHING. Try it, and visit this site often to do it, to get some R&R during your work day or at home. Please write a response and let me know what you think of it.

Download AbdominalBreathingPodcast.mp3