The Importance of Social Connections During Stress and Crisis

A month ago, after feeling exhausted and tired, I gave a seminar on Fatigue to the orthopedics department at a NY hospital.  Walking back to my car, I tripped and fell and broke one ankle and sprained the other.  In the ER of that hospital, an orthopedics resident beamed a big smile at me on my gurney.  "Do I know you??" I asked.  He said, "Yes, I was just in your lecture!" The ironies here are rather amusing.  The way my ankles still feel is not.  The biggest thing that's gotten me through this is the support of old and new friends and family.  Of course this is what people always say when they get sick.  But I've really gotten this point on a visceral level since my accident.

I'm a bit of a loner, with a few close friends and a small family.  So it's been tough to reach out for help.  One of the main points I teach in my Stress Management seminars is the need to have a social support group, and to talk to these people regularly.  My seminar and coaching business had reached a point of my working very long days, and isolating from those close to me because "I didn't have the time."  Now I have nothing but time, and I've been forced to ask for their help.  A humbling experience to say the least!  Being the independent creature I am, I've had to get past my fears of truly admitting my vulnerability, of really letting people help me, and of having to deal with the painful rejection of those unable or unwilling to help.  And at the same time, I've made wonderful connections with new people and solidified my relationships with family I haven't spoken to in months.  A close aunt of mine also recently died, which has also brought me closer to my family.

I write this because as with most people, I know how easy it is to forget about the people that matter to me, and to get caught up in my work.  The universe had other ideas for me, and literally knocked me off my feet.  I've had weeks to re-evaluate my life.  As a result I made 2 commitments: to work fewer hours, and to connect with at least one other human being each day.  This is my plan not only during this crisis, but from now on, even if it's only for a few minutes.  In the end it really is the people in our lives who matter the most.  Being successful and lonely doesn't cut it.  I'm grateful for having learned this lesson from this accident, which was no accident at all.  It was a wake-up call for me to do things differently.  And I'm so grateful for the people who've come aboard this journey with me.

 

Comments

[Susan Eisner]

Thanks Sienna for your thoughts and good wishes, and your reminder to continue working on those connections with others - and with ourselves.

[Sienna Christie]

It's true that success is not found in money. They are found in the number of friends and loved ones you have. As they say, know who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are. The injury may heal after a year. Until the, keep safe and make the most out of your new connections for now!

[Cheap SSL]

I just finished up reading your blog the first time so I thought I should comment to let you know your stuff is great and you have another follower! Keep the posts coming!

[RapidSSL Wildcard]

A good number of those things make sense to me.